


All I’ve Ever Known

by Erikapell



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-12-25 08:02:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18257135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erikapell/pseuds/Erikapell
Summary: She's a fighter.A warrior.A survivor.She's also alone.When the world stopped turning and the dead started living 24 year old Ellie Mitchell was left to make it through the carnage and destruction entirely on her own. It's been 2 years and Ellies never needed anything from anyone, when she finds 10 year old Sophia Pelletier hiding from walkers behind an old oak tree she knows that she has to help this little girl find her way home. She didn't expect to join forces with a one handed redneck and she especially didn't expect to fall for his handsome and incredibly protective baby brother.Life has a way of showing you exactly what you've always needed.That is if you open your eyes of course.





	1. Chapter 1

The Georgia heat was growing more and more unbearable with the start of summer quickly approaching, the putrid smell of rotting corpses only intensified under the burning sun and almost every stream and river she'd come across had been dried up and barren. 

"Never thought you'd miss Winter huh?" Ellie Mitchell whispered, talking to herself had become a source of comfort. She couldn't count the amount of conversations she'd had solely with herself to keep the voices out of her head. Singing worked too, not loud enough to lure walkers but just enough to fill the constant silence she'd lived in for almost two years now. 

"All I've ever known is how to hold my own  
All I've ever known is how to hold my own  
But now I wanna hold you too  
Now I wanna hold you."

The words were like a second language to her now, she'd written that song years ago in the back booth of a greasy run down diner with her mamas old guitar. She sang when the sun was shining or the rain pouring, she sang when she didn't think she could make it another day on an empty stomach or when her bones hurt so bad she thought they would snap. She sang when the moans and groans of the walkers kept her up at night.

The snap of a branch had Ellie swinging around, knife poised and ready to throw at whatever thought it was a good idea to sneak up on her. A flash of bright blue and blonde zoomed past, far too quick to be a walker but too small to be any kind of grown man. The blur of blue fabric lunged behind a tree, a dirty sneaker sticking out from its hiding place... small foot.. faded rainbow laces and smiley face stickers on the heel.

Holy shit.. was this.. was this a kid? 

"You can come on out, I already saw ya. If I wanted to hurt ya you'd be gone already." Ellie spoke firmly, if she was wrong and this was some kind of trap it was going to be awful to have to kill a kid but she would do it, she'd do just about anything to survive. 

The tiniest whimper filled the air followed by long arms and big brown eyes, a messy tangled mop of sandy blonde hair and ripped capris stumbling out from behind the twisted oak tree.  
"Please  don't kill me.. I... I heard you singing and I just wanted to see.. I wanted to listen...I don't know where I am. I've been runnin' for days." She whispered, sloppy raindrop sized tears cascading down her dirty cheeks leaving streaks of muddy brown on her smooth skin. 

She was little, no way she was older than 10 maybe 11 and she was a mess, Her knees bloody and cut up and her face far too skinny. She looked haunted and terrified and something about the way she was shaking in her sneakers had Ellie instantly bending down and brushing the back of her hand against the little ones cheeks, wiping away the never ending tears.  
"Hey.. hey I won't hurt you. My names Ellie, what about you?" She stuck her hand out to shake and smiled the best she could, she was never good around other people, kids seemed to like her just fine but still...

The little girl hesitated for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip before taking Ellie's hand in her own  
"S..Sophia. I'm ten." She whispered.

"Sophia..." Ellie wracked her brain for a moment before looking down at the ten year old with soft eyes and an encouraging smile "Wisdom. Your name is Greek, It stands for Wisdom and skill. It's a great name to have." 

Finally the tears started to subside, sophia looked up at Ellie with wide eyes.. clearly intrigued by the new discovery of her name.  
"Really?" She whispered again. At least she wasn't too loud, her quiet would come in handy out here. 

"Sure does. Now what's a little thing like you doin' out here all on your own? You got a mama lookin' for you somewhere." 

Sophia shook her head aggressively  
"Yes! I got lost a couple of days ago. There was walkers, a lot of them and I got separated from my mom and Rick told me to stay but I didn't and then I just got lost and now I don't know how to get back and I know my mom is looking for me but I don't know where... there were lots of cars and road.." She rambled desperately.

Ellie placed a hand on the frantic little girls shoulder and squeezed reassuringly  
"I'll help you find your mama. Can't be too far if you only got lost a few days ago, we'll find her. Find your whole group and help them get their Wisdom back. Lord knows they're all probably goin' crazy without it."

Sophia whipped around, tiny hand gripping the hem of Ellie's jacket and tugging  
"You'd do that? You'd help me find my mom?"  
She sounded almost amazed, it made Ellie sad to see a child so young so jaded, looked an awful lot like herself. 

"Course I will sugar, can't have your mama turning over the world to find ya. I like my world right side up." She tweaked Sophia's nose and nearly shivered when the little girl laced her fingers with hers and beamed up at the older woman beside her. How long had it been since she'd had anyone come close to touching her? To even being this close to her body? Human Contact.. it was a strange and foreign thing to Ellie even before the world turned to shit. 

From that point on the two girls had been inseparable, Sophia stuck to Ellie's side like glue and Ellie made sure she was always just a few feet away from Sophia at all times, their was no way she was delivering this kid home to her mother in a body bag. They'd come across a herd just a few days ago and Sophia had nearly passed out when she'd witnessed Ellie take down nearly 20 walkers with nothing but her knives, this had resulted in about an hour of the 10 year old asking her all kinds of questions about what kind of life she lived before this one.

That was definitely not a story for a child. 

They were about two weeks into the hunt for Sophia's group when they'd stopped at an abandoned factory to scavenge for something edible, Ellie had given the child most of her canned goods just to build her strength up but with all the walking they were doing, being as weak and tired as she was wasn't good for staying alert. 

"Gotta be somethin' in here. Anythin' really. I'll eat dog food if I have too." Ellie wiggled her eyebrows at Sophia and smiled tiredly when she scrunched her nose up in disgust and giggled.

"You will not! You'll get sick if you... mmmph!" Ellie cut off the blonde little girl by smacking a hand to her mouth and tugging her behind the nearest wall she could find. Sophia mumbled something g beneath her fingers and Ellie quickly shushed her, eyes peering over the side of the wall at the back of large shadowy figure.  

"We got company sugar. Stay put and stay quiet. If someone comes at you I want you to scream as loud as humanly possible and run as far as you can get... here." Ellie shoved a small hunting knife into Sophia's open palm and wrapped her tiny fingers around the handle "you do what you have to do ya understand?" 

Sophia looked up at her with watery eyes and nodded slightly  
"Don't die." She whispered desperately. 

Ellie felt herself wince, this was part of the reason she liked to be on her own.. she didn't want to lie to anyone and she didn't want to break promises that were inevitably built to fail. So she bent down, pressed a kiss to Sophia's forehead and advanced on the man who currently digging  through an empty desk drawer. 

"I won't ever stab a man in the back unless he deserves it so do me a favor and turn around nice and slow." Ellie kept her voice calm and collected as the man in front of her stiffened, his hooked hand contraption raising up in surrender as he turned to face her with a annoyingly cocky smirk, the second his eyes landed on her the smirk grew wider. 

"Well well Well... if you ain't the prettiest knife wielding, light footed angel I've ever seen." He drawled, his accent thick just like hers.. he must have been born close to Senoia.

"I'm no angel, I reckon you walk out that door right now and leave and I won't send this knife flying right through that bald skull of yours." She threatened, the venom in her voice further proving just how dangerous she was. 

"Ain't lookin' for trouble sweetheart, lookin' for food. Same as you, ya ain't nothin but bones." His eyes scanned her figure blatantly and she didn't stop herself from rolling her eyes this time. 

"Well since you're so smart I'm sure you've already figured out that I ain't in the mood to share. So do yourself a favor and walk out of here with one good arm in tact." She took a step forward and the man stepped back, his eyes dropping and his shoulders slumping, he did look awfully hungry and she hadn't expected him to surrender to her so quickly.

"Alright girl.. fine.. this one's all yours. Ain't gonna find anythi.." 

"Mr. Merle!!!" 

Suddenly Sophia was darting out from behind the back wall, her skinny legs sending her flying directly into the bald man's body, her arms wrapping around his waist as he stared down at her in shock. 

"Sophia?! What the hell are you doing! Get over here!" Ellie whisper screamed, eyes wide and stunned at the carelessness of the little girl she had come to understand. 

"Sophia?" The man stepped back, pulling away and holding the young girl by her shoulders "Well I'll be damned."  He chuckled ruffling her hair and scanning her quickly for any injuries. Ellie watched as Sophia grinned up at the man and reached for his missing hand carefully.

"I'm sorry I feel like I'm missing something." She dropped the knife she was holding back into the holster on her thigh and raised a brow at Sophia expectantly 

"This is Mr. Merle. He lived with us for a long time.. his brother is Daryl, the one who brings us the squirrels!" Sophia smiled excitedly before it turned to confusion as she looked back at Merle "my mom said you died. Said you were too stupid and died." 

"Rude." Merle mumbled, his eyes sparkling when he looked back to Ellie. "You know who I am now girly, who the hell are you and why do you have Carols kid?" 

Ellie opened her mouth to speak before Sophia cut her off  
"Ellie's helping me find my way home. She's been keeping me safe and killing all the walkers and giving me all her food and making sure I get the warmest sleeping spot!" Sophia grinned moving back to take Ellie's hand and curl against her side. 

"Oh yeah?" Merle questioned "and what's in it for "Ellie"" He drew out her name and she had to do everything in her power to not haul back and break his already crooked nose. 

"Nothing, I'm not looking for a reward. I don't have anything better to do so I'm bringing her home. Beats walking around and trying not to become some zombies dinner." She explained, a genuine smile crossing her face when Merle laughed out loud. 

"Got a point girly. Well how'd you like to add a new member to your rescue mission? I'll go with ya, need to find my brother anyway. Fresh eyes never hurt nobody." He hiked his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door, Sophia hung back with Ellie waiting to see her next move. 

Obviously she was going to let him come, his brother was out there too probably looking for him. But it wouldn't hurt to let the cocky man in front of her think she was still deciding. Merle made it to the front door and turned around, Ellie could tell he was nervous of the rejection by the way his good hand wrapped tight around the edge of the door.

"You comin or not?" He pressed grumpily. 

After another few seconds Ellie finally let the megawatt smile light up her face as she grabbed Sophia's hand and tugged her past Merle practically skipping as they swung out the doors. 

It was quiet for a while, they all walked in silence, caught up in their own thoughts before Sophia broke the quiet.

"The three musketeers! That's what we are! The three musketeers." She glanced back and forth between them, her smile wide and proud. 

Ellie giggled and flicked Sophia's nose  
"Don't mention that name.. I would kill for a three musketeers right now.. or maybe a snickers bar." She sighed. 

It was just a few seconds later when Merle dropped a heavy metal can in her palms, a mischievous smirk on his lips.

"It ain't chocolate but it'll get that stomach a yours filled." He grinned, walking a bit ahead as she flipped the can around to read the label 

"Beef and Gravy Dog Food." 

Ellies head snapped up to his shaking shoulders as he silently cracked up in front of her. 

"Son of a ..."


	2. Is How To Hold My Own

They weren’t there. 

Her family wasn’t there.

The highway had been abandoned and all that was left was a water soaked note and a pile of rotting food. Ellie had tried her damndest to read the writing on the piece of paper but the ink had run and the words were nothing more than black smudges and streaks. It had been weeks since Sophia had been on this very highway, a part of Ellie knew they wouldn’t still be there but the tiniest bit of hope she still had was currently being squashed out by the inconsolable 10 year old girl tugging her knees to her chest and sobbing in the middle of the road. 

“They left me.. they forgot about me. My mom said... she always said to come to where I got lost! I came back.. I came back!” Her tiny shoulders shook with each heartbreaking gasp the little girl took. Ellie squatted in front of her and pulled her to her chest, she couldn’t find the words right now, they were stuck somewhere in a painful memory of her own past. This situation felt all too familiar. 

Surprisingly enough it was Merle who spoke up  
“ they didn’t forget about ya kid. I know my brother, Daryl’s probably out there right now lookin’ for ya. Your mama too. No one abandoned ya, we’re gonna find em all.. just takes time is all.” He stared down at the two girls huddled on the floor, Ellie quirked a brow at the uncharacteristic softness to his voice, Sophia sniffled as her breathing slowly went back to normal. 

“You really think so?” Her eyes flicked from Merle to Ellie. 

“Of Course Soph. I told you we ain’t stoppin’ until you’re back in your mamas arms. We’re doing good, we just gotta beat them to it.” 

“But what if they think I’m dead? what if they gave up because they thought I couldn’t make it?” She whispered, standing up and wiping off the dirt from her jeans.

Ellie stayed seated propping her chin in her hands and resting her forearms over her bent knees, she grinned   
“Well then imagine their surprise when they see you stroll back into that camp all smiling and in one piece.” 

Merle chuckled and reached down a hand to help her up.   
“Got all the time in the world.” He sassed playfully. 

Ellie rolled her eyes and elbowed the much taller man before the sound of moaning and shuffling filled her ears. It was so sudden, they hadn’t even heard them coming when all of a sudden a group of about thirty walkers rushed out of the woods headed directly towards them

“Son of a bitch!” Merle cursed, stumbling back as the scent overwhelmed them. 

“Get Sophia up in that tree!” Ellie ordered, shoving a walker back and burying her knife in its skull. Merle was quick to scoop the shaking little girl up and deposit her on the highest, thickest limb he could find. 

“Why didn’t we hear them? Were they hidin’? How the hell is that possible?” Merle shouted over the hissing and snapping of the creatures jaws. 

“I don’t know! The eyes... the eyes are different!” Ellie threw one of her knives directly into the back of a walker that was pulling on Merle’s jacket. And stomped on the head of another writhing on the ground. 

Instead of the grey and sickly yellow eyes that the Walkers usually had these walkers had black and bloody eyes almost as if someone had spilled ink into their eye sockets. 

“We got sick zombies now?!” Merle yelled. 

Sophia was crying painfully up in the tree as she stared down at her friends fighting for their lives. Ellie glanced up just for a second to see the absolutely terrified look on the child’s face. 

“Hey soph!” The curly haired brunette shouted into the air as she lodged another knife into the temple of a walker “what’s the capital of Kansas?” 

Merle snapped his eyes over to Ellie, his “hand” covered in walker guts. He was looking at her like she was insane. 

“I don’t.. I don’t know!” Sophia sobbed. 

“Oh come on.. ooof.” Ellie fell back into the hard surface of a tree, she could feel the bruises forming already “you know this one! It’s easy.. the capital of Kansas Soph, what is it?” 

Merle pulled out his gun, the silencer clicked on as he shot at the rest of the walkers in front of him. 

“umm.. ummm.” Sophie struggled, her eyes jottinf from Merle to Ellie, back and forth.

“Tick tock, tick tock. Times running out!” Ellie looked up to see Sophia’s eye brow knit in concerned concentration. 

The last walker, shifted pitifully towards Ellie, she lifted her knife above its head 

“Topeka!” Sophia shouted.

Blood splattered across Ellie’s face coating her cheeks and forehead in a slick sheet of sticky red. 

“Ding ding ding.” Ellie whispered, finally dropping her back to a tree and letting the knife slip from her hands onto the floor, a tired smile on her face as Merle grinned at her, finally understanding exactly what she was doing. 

Distraction from the chaos. 

It wasn’t until they were setting up camp for the night that Merle cornered her by the flimsy fire they had built, his arms crossed as he smirked down at her.

“Can I help you?” Ellie quirked a brow.

“You’re a teacher. At least ya were, s’why you’re so good with the kid and why ya know all those random useless facts.” He grinned proudly at his deductive reasoning skills. 

Ellie chucked the rest of the fire wood onto the flame and wiped her hand on her knees as she stood before Merle with her arms mirroring his own.   
“Oh yeah? Ya think so?” 

“I know so.” He shrugged cockily.

Ellie giggled   
“Try again Dixon. I didn’t even graduate Highschool.” 

She never thought she’d see a shocked and speechless Merle Dixon but when his jaw dropped and his eyes widened she couldn’t help but laugh, she turned her back to him and walked off to drape a second blanket over Sophia who was sleeping comfortably by the fire. She heard Merle shuffle after her 

“Why the hell didn’t ya finish High School? yer the smartest little lady I ever saw.” He questioned, adjusting his own position by the fire and patting the spot beside him for her to sit down. 

Ellie plopped into the open space.   
“Just didn’t see a point, couldn’t afford college anyhow and no one was giving the trailer trash orphan any scholarships. I was waitin’ tables when the virus hit. Probably for the best, don’t think a degree would do me any good in this mess.” She laughed lightly. 

Something flashed across Merle’s eyes, something awfully close understanding with just the tiniest bit of sympathy.   
“How do ya know all that shit then?” 

Ellie turned towards him and tapped her temple.  
“Photographic memory. I was born with it, I used to steal memorize the teachers lesson plans and hand in about two months worth of homework before it was even assigned. It used to drive em all crazy.” She chuckled. 

Merle smiled fondly at the tiny little woman to his right.  
“ I got a brother ya know. Real smart, sweet as hell too. He’s gonna love you.” 

Ellie shook her head quickly   
“I ain’t stickin’ around. I’m just helpin y’all find your family, after that I’m off on my own, I do better alone anyway.” 

Merle looked at the beautiful woman beside him and god she reminded him so much of his brother it almost hurt to watch her.   
“Seem to be doin just fine with us.” He offered. 

Ellie looked up and nodded softly  
“This is different.” She whispered, eyes flicking to the sleeping little girl in the corner.

Merle nodded  
“Don’t matter anyway, Daryl’l find ya. People like you two. Ya always find each other in the end.” He shrugged. 

The light hearted playfulness was back in Ellie’s eyes and she landed a punch to Merle’s shoulder   
“I ain’t lookin for a boyfriend at the End Of The World.” She teased. 

Merle shoved her right back and grinned   
“There ain’t many good people left in this world, you and my brother are the best of em. Might be good for the End Of The World.. mate and make some sweet ass babies.” 

Ellie’s eyes widened for a second and Merle couldn’t keep the laughter down when he saw the look of pure terror on her face, she nearly knocked him off the seat with her next punch. 

“You just want me to be your sister in law is all. I know your game,” she teased. 

Merle looked over at her big brown eyes and scarred cheeks. Daryl deserves someone like her and she deserved someone like him. 

“Whatever sis.” He winked “get some rest, we’re goin husband huntin’ tomorrow.” 

He ignored her grumbled curse and watched as she nestled into the ripped up blanket.

Daryl was gonna owe him big time for this one.


	3. But Now I Wanna Hold You

“We can’t go in there.” Merle tugged on the sleeve of Ellie’s white T shirt, pulling her backwards as she attempted to get a look over the cliff at the incredibly large building surrounded by barbed wire and chain link.

“Merle! Come on, look at the way it’s covered, walkers can’t get in or out. They might have a mess hall in there that we could raid, and I’m certain they’ve got some kind of medication in the infirmary. Sophia’s been to hot too get rest at night and I’ve been fixin’ to find her something to help her sleep. We’re runnin’ on empty.” Ellie looked down at the tired little girl currently curled up against her side pointedly. 

“Its a jail Ellie, promised myself I ain’t never goin back.” Merle grumbled, eyes cast towards the gated fence. “Besides, place like that probably already got people livin’ in it. We’ve been tracking this trail for weeks, we oughta keep going.” He sighed. 

As per usual warmth and understanding flooded the tiny woman’s eyes and she nodded  
“Okay. I get it. We’ll keep movin.” She’d made her own promises a long time ago so she understood what it meant to Merle to stay as far away from the last as possible.

Sophia however did not.

“Please Merle, can’t we just go look! If someone’s living there we’ll turn right back around I promise! But maybe they have something to eat other than canned peaches and squirrel!” She pleaded, her eyes sparkling with hope and excitement. 

Sometimes it was easy to forget that she was just a kid, that this world wasn’t fair to her either. If Ellie could keep her smiling the way she was right now forever, she’d do anything. 

“I’ll let you use my favorite blanket tonight.” Sophia bargained, long eyelashes fluttering sweetly at the older man.

Ellie snorted out loud and lifted her hands in surrender when Merle looked to her for help. This one was all on him, it was his decision she was just along for the ride. 

And also..

Merle could never say no to Sophia.

“Fine! Fine.. whatever. We’ll go walkin’ past, check and see if there’s any activity. If I see one leaf rustle we run the hell out of there, I ain’t lookin’ for a fight today.” He grumbled, nodding his head towards the cliff and letting Sophia lead the way, she skipped ahead and Ellie lingered behind, shooting Merle knowing smirks. 

“Not a word.” He growled, shoving her gently with the butt of his gun.

“Oh of course not.”  
Ellie grinned, strutting ahead before peeking over her shoulder “Sophia wants a puppy too.. better get the kibble.” 

Merle rolled his eyes and shouted,  
“Bitch.” 

She giggled and stuck her tongue out   
“Woof woof.” 

It didn’t take long to approach the prison fence, it looked deserted from the outside, not a soul in sight. 

“See! No ones here!” Sophia smiled proudly, ducking down slightly when Ellie shushed her. 

“Shh Soph. We don’t know if someone’s hiding, there should be at least a few walkers in here so someone must have cleaned it out.” It was confusing, while it looked safe it almost felt... too safe. 

“I feel it too.” Merle mumbled from beside Ellie, his hands tapping on the handle of his gun. 

“Ya wanna turn around?” She whispered, pulling Sophia close to her side and tucking her under her arm. 

Merle opened his mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by an overly excited squeal.   
“Oh my god! It’s people.. real people! Like.. alive ones!” 

Merle had his gun pulled and aimed at the young blonde with the ponytail in seconds flat, Ellie shoved Sophia behind her back and readied her knives to be thrown. 

The blondes eyes widened at the severity of the glares the two newcomers were shooting her, her smile dropped and she looked like she wanted to cry.   
“I.. I’m not going to.. I was just.. we have food! And.. and not even supposed to be out here on my own! We just got here and I was exploring! I don’t.. I didn’t think..” she stuttered, big blue eyes filling with tears, she couldn’t be more than sixteen. 

Merle glanced at Ellie, his face scrunched up in confusion. The curly haired brunette just shrugged and kept her knife aimed at the girl who was now nearly passed out on the floor in fear.   
“Daddy!” She shouted desperately.

“Hey! Don’t be calling your people!” Ellie threatened, now it was starting to feel dangerous. A tiny teenaged blonde with no weapon was easy to take but a family..? 

“we’re leavin’ we’re out.” Merle dropped a hand to the small of Ellie’s back and shoved her backwards, his eyes still trained on the blonde now nearly shaking in her boots. She wrapped her arms around a scared Sophia and squeezed soothingly before getting ready to run. 

“Beth?!” 

“Merle?!” 

Ellie froze, her arms still tight around Sophia’s body like armor. How did they know his name? Who knew her partners name?

“Chinaman?” Merle’s voice took on an amazed quality and he quickly reached out to spin Ellie around, grinning the entire time. “Well I’ll be damned.” 

Sophia gasped from within Ellies arms.

“Sophia?!?” Glenn all but screamed, his eyes nearly falling out of his head as he stared at the little girl in amazement. 

“That’s Glenn! Ellie that’s Glenn!” The ten year old girl whispered, eyes misty with excitement at seeing the man she had once told Ellie had “burnt half of his toes off by walking into the bonfire without shoes.” 

He was her friend.. she had done it... she had found...

“MAMA!” 

Sophia ripped herself free of Ellie’s arms and practically tore down the fence to get in, an older grey, short haired woman was sobbing on the other side! Her eyes were just as amazed as Glenn and for a second it stung...

They had given up on her, they had counted her out as nothing more than just a little girl dead in the woods. 

Ellie’s anger quickly faded as she watched the mother and daughter embrace on the grass and soil, tears streaming down their faces as they held each other. Everyone else had started filing out of the prison, each wearing matching looks of astonishment on their faces. 

Her heart ached for Sophia, she was so happy for that little girl who had become a huge part of her world. She was happy for Carol who got to hold her baby girl again and she was happy for Merle who’s brother was somewhere in the crowd waiting for a reunion of his own. Tears fell involuntarily as she watched everyone greet Sophia, it had been just the three of them for almost five months and now seeing her surrounded by so many people that loved her was so incredibly moving. 

Merle tugged her into his side and she rested her head on his shoulder, he smiled down at her and dropped his lips to the top of her head. She cared about this man immensely , he’d become somewhat of an older brother and they’d been on this mission together, to see all their hard work pay off was a beautiful thing. She felt like she could finally breathe again. 

It was then that she felt an unfamiliar set of eyes burning into the side of her head. Moving her gaze to the right she caught deep icey blue eyes and a mop of chocolate hair hanging just below his neck. 

Daryl Dixon, she assumed. Same eyes as Merle and same guarded, slightly hesitant look on his face. 

“Hey.” Ellie pulled in Merle’s wife beater “I think I found what you were lookin’ for.” She grinned before taking a step back and leaving the brothers in perfect view of each other. Merle’s whole face contorted into something she’d seen only a few times..relief, affection and love.

They all but ran the length of the field, wrapping their arms around each other tightly and pressing their foreheads together, hushed words shared between the two before Daryl shoved Merle off and grinned widely at his older brother. 

This is what it had all been for, she could go now, move on. Her heart was a little heavy and it was going to hurt to never see the two people she had come to care for more than anything ever again. But she could leave with a clear conscience, a sense of pride and peace of mind. Saying goodbye would hurt too much, Everyone was so wrapped in the miracle reunion she was certain she’d be able to sneak out without being caught. Sparing one final glance at Sophia Ellie slipped through the gap in the fence and made her start to the woods. 

A hand wrapped firmly around the handle of her backpack and soon enough she was being dragged right back through the fence she had just snuck out of, stumbling on her feet as she protested.   
“Merle! I told you I wasn’t staying.. I did what I was supposed to do.. I’m not hanging..” 

She was twirled around and into the skinny arms of the woman with the grey pixie cut.. Carol Peletier. 

For someone so thin she sure as hell had a tight grip   
“I will never be able to Thank you for what you’ve done for my daughter.. for me. You saved my baby girl, you brought her home to me, there isn’t enough words in the world to express how I’m feeling right now.” Carol choked, her tears wetting Ellie’s shoulder. 

She had never been good at the whole comforting thing, no one had ever taught her how so she stuck to patting carols back awkwardly and nodding  
“That’s okay. Just happy she found you is all.” Ellie coughed. 

Sophia barreled into Ellie’s legs effectively knocking her mother away and staring up at Ellie with her Bambi eyes.  
“You have to stay! You can’t go Ellie! I need you to stay!” 

Carol looked down at her daughter in confusion   
“Well of course she’s staying sweetheart? Who wouldn’t she be?” 

Ellie glanced between Merle and Carol. Merle raised a brow almost challenging her to answer, Daryl was staring at her too.. his eyes asking entirely different questions. Ellie bent down to Sophia’s level and took the little girls hands in hers.  
“We talked about this sugar, you know I can’t stay. I was just bringin’ you home to your mama. I got ya here Soph and now I gotta be on my way.” 

A man with a beard and a sheriffs badge on his hip stepped forward   
“You’re plenty welcome to stay here.. you’re a hero in our books. We’d be honored to have you stay with us. My name is Rick.” His smile was warm but even Ellie could see the underlying sadness in his eyes.

She took his extended hand and shook it firmly  
“I’m Ellie. I appreciate the offer, really I do but I do better on my own. I’m not really good with... groups.” She finished lamely. 

“You don’t have anyone? How long have you been on your own?” The man named Glenn asked from his space beside a tall brunette. 

“Don’t know. Bout as long as I can remember. I had a dog once but.. he’s gone now.” Ellie shrugged, a little boy no older than Sophia stepped out from behind a white haired man with one leg 

“He died?” The boy in the sheriffs hat questioned.

He was so young. 

“Of course not!” She exclaimed turning her attention solely to the young boy “apparently I’m not very good company so he took off to find someone better to spend his time with. Very rude if you ask me.” Ellie winked at the boy, his lips quirked upward revealing a dimpled smile. 

“She snores.” Merle joined her at her side and swung an arm over her shoulder.

Ellie scoffed and shoved his good arm off.  
“I do not.” She rolled her eyes. 

“She doesn’t.” Sophia grinned “she just talks in her sleep.” Merle bent down for a high five and Ellie huffed 

“Traitors.” 

“At least stay for dinner please, it’s the absolute least I could do for everything you’ve done. Maybe you’ll change your mind.” Carol reaches for her hand and held it in both of hers. 

Scanning the prison yard Ellie noticed there were quite a few people. A tall woman with dread locks and a katana, a dark skinned couple, the man holding a baby that was no more than a few weeks old, an older man with white hair and his two daughters, a burly ginger man and a man with a mullet standing beside a beautiful dark haired woman who looked to be Ellie’s own age. And then of course Merle and Carol, Sophia and Carl, Rick And..

Daryl Dixon.

Merle hadn’t been making it up, Daryl was incredibly good looking in a different sort of way but it wasn’t his looks that had Ellie oddly drawn to him. It was the guarded walls chipped and slightly torn down that he had built around himself for protection. 

She had a matching set of walls. 

He was looking at her so intensely, almost as if he was trying to tell her something that she couldn’t quite understand.She tore her eyes away from his icy blue and turned back to Carol. 

“It looks like y’all have enough mouths to feed, I’ll be just fine. You don’t owe me anythin’” she smiled encouragingly, shifting in her boots. 

“I owe you everything.” Carol whispered fiercely, her hands squeezing Sophia’s shoulders. There was no room for argument so Ellie just nodded, Carols eyes lit up and Rick clapped his hands.

“Great! Well when you’re all set you can come on in and I’ll give you a tour of the prison! We’ve got running water and everything.” He grinned before taking Carl’s hand and pulling him back inside. 

Ellie turned to Carol  
“I left one of my bags out there in the woods, I’m just gonna go grab it and I’ll meet you Inside.” She smiled tightly, uncomfortable with all the attention she was getting, Carol nodded brightly and hugged her once more before moving to Merle and thanking him as well. 

She hadn’t even gone inside yet and she already felt claustrophobic. Leaning her head against the rough bark of a weeping willow Ellie groaned. Why and she agreed to this? She didn’t need dinner.. she didn’t need their dinner. They had a baby to feed for Pete’s sake, not to mention two growing kids and a whole shitload of others. 

“You goin’ somewhere?” 

The unfamiliar voice had Ellie whipping around only to come face to face with none other than 

Daryl Dixon.


	4. Chapter 4

Every part of her wanted to run, to just leave and never turn back, not until Merle and Sophia and all of the people safe within those walls were so far behind her that she couldn’t see straight. Merle would understand, he knew she wasn’t meant to be kept caged and locked away.. she didn’t work well with others, she shut down. It would take Sophia longer to understand but she had her mother now, she would be just fine. 

But now there was Daryl Dixon, narrowed, piercing blue eyes staring directly into her own, effectively making her palms sweat and her stomach swim. 

“I can’t go in there. It’s better like this, rippin’ the bandaid off and all that. You look after them alright? Make sure Merle’s mouth doesn’t get him shot in the foot and.. and make sure Sophia gets sleep.. she’s an anxious little one.” Ellie offered her most encouraging smile before spinning on her heel and swinging her bag over her shoulder, eyes set on the deep green woods in front of her. 

She was only a few feet away when she heard the nearly silent shuffle of hunting boots trailing after her. Ellie turned to see Daryl close behind, his crossbow hanging loosely at his side. 

“Goin’ huntin?” She questioned sarcastically propping her hands on her hips and raising a brow. 

The ghost of a smile fluttered across Daryl’s lips   
“Nah.” He mumbled, moving to stand directly in front of her. He was almost taller than Merle and the size difference between the 5’2 24 year old girl and the nearly 6 foot man in front of her was almost alarming. Ellie had to crane her neck to look into his eyes, squinting against the Georgia sun. 

“You don’t have to follow me. I’m a big girl I can take care of myself, I told y’all I’m not stayin’. Best if you just head on back home and leave me on my own.” 

Daryl stared down at her blankly and for a moment Ellie thought she had gotten her point across until he smirked and shrugged 

“Nah.” 

Ellie’s shoulders deflated and she huffed, it was too damn hot and she was too damn tired to argue with this man. 

“Whatever.” She grumbled “you’re gonna be following me for a while then because I ain’t stoppin’” She grumbled, flipping her dark brown curls over her shoulder and marching ahead. 

The woods always went on forever, it was one of her favorite things about growing up in Atlanta, the lush green trees and silky soft grass had been her only source of safety and comfort as a child. They were overrun with the dead but still.. it was a taste of security and silence. 

Well that was of course until..

“How’d ya find Merle?” 

Daryl had somehow managed to keep time with her footsteps, his quick pace matching her own. Ellie kept her eyes in front of her and shrugged..

“I was gonna kill him.” She let the tiny smile flutter across her face at Daryl’s snort. 

“Figures.” He rolled his eyes, shaking his head 

“I had found Sophia a few weeks before. We came across an abandoned factory and we were gettin’ pretty low on supplies. Apparently Merle had the same idea, I Nearly threw a blade until Sophia came runnin’ out. The rest is history, He couldn’t find y’all on his own I just helped.” 

Daryl’s eyes were doing that intense sharp stare thing again.   
“Nah, ya did more than help girl. Ya brought him back, ain’t no way he’d a done it himself.” 

Ellie shook her head, finally meeting Daryl’s deep gaze   
“Merle’s a smart guy. He’d have figured it out eventually.” 

Daryl shook his head, a tired kind of sadness in his voice   
“Merle’s a druggie. He wasn’t lookin’ for supplies. He was lookin’ for dope. Don’t know what ya did but you got his head straight, been tryin for years.” 

Was he... was he trying to thank her? She couldn’t quite tell. She kept quiet, unsure of what to say before she threw a hand out and pressed a finger to her lips, grabbing Daryl and practically dragging him to the dirt. 

“Look.” She whispered, pointing at the tiny hoof marks embedded in the soil. 

“Deer.” Daryl grumbled, the familiar excitement of a fellow hunter vibrating through the air as they grinned at each other.

Two incredibly silent hours later Daryl had the heavy Bambi look alike swung over his shoulders, a familiar knife sticking out from between its eyes. Ellie was walking beside him carrying his crossbow and his pack. 

“Didn’t think I’d ever see one of these again.” She sighed, looking at Daryl and mirroring his satisfied smirk. 

“Me too, thought the walkers knocked em all out.” 

“When I was a kid I skinned one of these bad boys and tried wearing its pelt as a coat to school the next day. My foster mom didn’t buy me a winter coat and it’s was snowin’ . I got sent home and got one hell of a whoopin’ that night.” Ellie giggled, her nose scrunched at the memory.

Daryl was watching her recount the memory, she was so damn beautiful it was almost impossible to look away. Her big brown eyes looked like something out of one of those Disney movies and her chocolate colored curls were swept back by the humid wind, she was smiling with those perfect lips and the scar on her temple was fully healed and a pretty shade of pink. 

Foster home? She was an orphan with what seemed like a damaged past to rival his own judging by the matching cigarette burns on her bare arms and the scars littering her face. 

“Daryl?” Ellie placed a surprisingly soft hand on his forearm, she was looking up at him with those brown eyes pinched together in something that looked an awful lot like concern.

“Sorry what?” He shook his head to clear his jumbled thoughts. 

“I asked how many people live in the prison? I know you have a group but it seemed like there were more.” 

He wracked his brain, there were too many to count, too many families.. too many people.   
“A lot.” He settled for.

“Hmm.” Ellie looked forward, her shoulders tense again. 

He wanted her smile back, the one with the scrunched eyebrows and white teeth. 

“it ain’t so bad. They ain’t so bad.” Daryl shifted the deer over his shoulders and Ellie looked up at him with tired eyes.

“Doesn’t matter.” She whispered.

“Does matter.” Daryl countered, stopping and letting the deer hit the ground for a second to roll his shoulders. 

“I can’t stay Daryl.” Ellie smiled sadly, her fingers digging into the sides of her jeans. 

“Ya can.” He promised, involuntarily reaching for her fingers. 

“I’m gonna be fine on my own.” She whispered, eyes trained on his dirty calloused fingers holding her own. 

“But you’ll be good here. Fine ain’t no way to live.” He stepped closer, they were right by the prison, Daryl could hear the low rumble of voices beyond the fenced walls. 

“Nowhere’s safe.” She pulled her eyes up to look into his, Ellie’s eyes were tormented and Daryl watched as she wrapped her arms around herself to keep the vulnerability and emotions from spilling out. 

“Yer right, But it ain’t all about that. Here’s got Merle, it’s got Sophia and it’s got walls.” Daryl nudged her gently, desperate to get those arms uncrossed. 

“I hate walls.” She whispered, eyeing the prison warily. “They suck you dry, pluck the heart right out your chest and crush it with wood and bricks.” 

Daryl nodded fully understanding her, it’s exactly why he slept in a tent outside a good distance from the prison.   
“They keep ya safe too. Keep everything out.” 

Ellie looked up at him then  
“Not everything.” She whispered. 

They weren’t talking about the prison anymore, he could feel it.  
“Nah, not everything.”

Ellie opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by screams coming from the prison, screams. And a single gunshot. 

Ellie looked up at Daryl with wide eyes and almost as if on cue they both took off running towards the prison full speed.


	5. I Was Alone So Long

It was chaos within the walls of the prison, a burly man with a beard had Rick on his knees and was aiming his pistol directly between his eyes while an overweight balding man had his own rifle aimed at the crowd that had gathered. 

Daryl was the first to push through, his cross bow raised and the angriest snarl Ellie had ever seen playing on his lips. Merle reached for her wrist and pulled her into his side directly beside a shaking Sophia and Carol.

"What the hell?" Ellie whispered, what had she just walked into? 

"The taller ones Thomas, he's lost his shit, says he's sick of Rick leadin' threatened to shoot us all if we moved. That's Big Tiny....Ain't right.. they ain't right." Merle grumbled, his grip tightening on Ellie's shoulder. 

"You all wanted a leader! What has he done for us?! Let our people die.. let his own wife die!" The man Ellie now knew as Thomas was shouting, waving his gun and laughing bitterly. "He's failed us all! Let the Governor right onto our land.. our home! He's killed our people!" 

Hershel stepped forward cautiously   
"Thomas, lets talk about this. Let's not be irrational." 

There was something wild in the man's eyes. There wouldn't be reasoning, he couldn't hear it over his own thoughts Ellie recognized the look on his face. 

"What do you know old man? You'd lick his boots if he asked you.." big tiny chuckled and clicked the trigger. He leaned back against the wall casually scanning the room through the scope of his rifle. 

"Once we get rid of him we can start fresh.. I can lead you people to safety, get us out of this damn death filled hole he's buried us in." Thomas pushed the gun closer to ricks head and that's when Ellie heard it...

A tiny strangled gasp came from behind her, she turned slowly to see Carl staring at the scene with dripping, wide eyes and shaking hands on his own gun. He was terrified for his father.. he was going to do something reckless and there was no way Ellie was going to let this little boy kill anyone. She wasn't letting him live with that on his conscience, not yet at least. 

So she turned back around, dug into her combat boot and gripped the two lightweight hunting knives And braced her shoulders. 

"Get the kids out." Ellie whispered to Carol, the older woman turning to her with wide, confused eyes. 

"I can't.. he's..." 

"I'll distract them, get them out." Ellie whispered again, stepping forward. 

"Ellie." Both Merle and Carol Warned, watching as she stepped in front of the crowd, Big tinys gun aimed pointedly at her heart now as he stood straighter, more alert. She stepped directly in front of Daryl, his gaze burning into the back of head. 

"Ya wanna lead huh?" She questioned casually, cleaning her fingernails with her knife and smiling sweetly. Ricks eyes snapped towards her before flicking back to Thomas.

The tall man with the pistol seemed taken a back for a moment and Big Tiny shifted closer. Daryl was pressed against her now, his warm breath brushing against the back of her neck steadily. 

"I don't wanna do anything sweetheart but I have too. I gotta make this place safe for people like you." Thomas shook his head, eyes trailing over her body. Ellie wasn't certain but she was pretty sure daryl was practically growling behind her.

"People like me?" She fluttered her eyelashes and looked up with those big brown eyes, the picture of innocence.

"Pretty little girls. Helpless sweet things like you." Big Tiny grinned, licking his lips. 

Sophia's sniffles faded from the room and the click of the door lock let Ellie know that Carol had made it out safely with the kids. The sugar sweet smile on her lips turned to the wicked smirk she had officially trademarked. 

"Well a pretty, little helpless thing like me would never want a spineless, pathetic coward like you to be any kind of leader. And your second in command? He's two steps away from death by diabetes so I think we're just gonna have to agree to disagree. Ain't that right sweetheart?" 

The shift in the room was evident, Merle snorted and Michonne smiled. Maggie was holding onto her father's arm and her grip loosened slightly while Glenn stared in anticipation as to what was going to happen next. Big Tiny was beet red and Ellie could practically few his anger radiating off of him in waves.

Good. Get angry. Get pissed. 

"You stupid bitch." He hissed, raising his rifle to shoot. 

Ellie was faster, in an instant the knife that had been white knuckles between her fist was flying through the air and landing directly in the center of the oversized man's head. 

"Daryl!" She called. 

No more words were needed, the moment Thomas saw Big Tiny go down he had his pistol cocked but once again...

He just wasn't fast enough. 

Daryl's arrow his it's target right through the left temple, the man stared for just a moment, confusion evident in his last moments. 

And then he fell to the granite floor dead as a door knob.

Gasps rant out through the tiny, cramped area. Ellie moved to where Big Tiny lay dead and stared down at him. 

"Shoulda found better friends." She whispered, wiggling her knife from his skull and wiping it on her jeans. She couldn't look at these peoples faces, couldn't bear to see the terror and fear on their faces so she rushed past, shaking off Merle's extended hand and pushing through the doors of the mess hall. 

Outside she could breathe,  no one was crowding her, outside she could erase the image of the overweight blood soaked man staring up at her with lifeless eyes. She had to kill him, they had to die they weren't stable and she couldn't let that little boy watch his father die, Carl was young he didn't need to see things like that...not yet. 

This was why she couldn't be around people her emotions always got the better of her, that moral compass she had worked so hard to forget always managed to work through her walls when there were other people around. 

Ellie slammed her eyes shut and leaned against the side of the prison, another death heavy on her shoulders. She should have stayed in the woods but instead she followed a man blindly into a battle she had place being involved in. 

The familiar scent of cigarettes, worn in leather and forest filled her senses and soon enough the muscle of a bare bicep was brushing against her own. She didn't have to open her eyes to know who it was. 

"I think you've used up your quota for motivational speeches today." She sighed, turning her head and smiling weakly at the shaggy haired Hunter currently looking directly at her. 

"Ain't really the talkin' kinda guy. Don't know what about ya that got me spoutin' like a fountain." He chuckled, nudging her with his shoulder. 

Ellie smiled back but her brows were furrowed, Daryl fought the sudden urge to press his fingertips against the frustrated indent right between her eyes and soothe out those worries. 

"You know now that I really can't be goin' back in there right? After that." She tugged on the hem of her shirt and chewed on her bottom lip. 

"After what?" Daryl questioned seemingly entirely confused. 

Ellie raised another brow, that seemed to be a habit for her.   
"After I just stabbed a man in the head and made you kill another." She spoke bluntly and Daryl couldn't help but smile, Ellie caught his grin and huffed "it ain't funny! Those people are probably terrified of me.. I can't go back in there.. I ain't right either." 

Daryl watched as her hands flailed violently and he reached for the one closest to his own, squeezing it reassuringly and tugging her back to the wall she had stepped away from  
"Ain't no-one scared a ya." He spoke firmly, eyes keeping hers on his. "Ya saved Rick and ya got the kids out safely. Yer a hero, everybody wants ta thank ya. And Ya didn't make me kill anyone, I was gonna do it anyway. Ya made it easier." He shrugged, his thumb was rubbing shapes onto her knuckles and for a second all of that anxiety, the fear and insecurity faded away and she was left with nothing but warm blue eyes and calloused fingers. 

"I'm not right, I don't think rationally." She whispered. 

"Ain't nobody right, specially me." Daryl shrugged.

"I can't stay in there.. in that prison. Not right now at least." She had shifted closer to his warmth and Daryl was holding her hand tighter now. 

"Don't gotta. You'll stay with me.. sleep up in the tower just a little ways away." He nodded his head towards the tower, it was open and far enough away that it just might work. 

"You don't owe me anything Daryl. I woulda helped Merle no matter what, ain't your burden to carry." This was it, if she agreed to this she was all in, these people would be her responsibility, she wouldn't let them down.. their safety would be on her. 

"For Christ's sake woman ya ain't a burden. Yer somethin' but it damn sure ain't a burden." He scoffed. 

Ellie was taken aback by the truth in his words, he meant it.. he wanted her to stay.. he wanted her to stay with him. 

She'd never been wanted before in her entire life. 

"And if I want to leave?" She whispered, summer wind whipping her hair into her eyes. 

Daryl brushed his nimble fingers across her cheeks and tucked her hair behind her ears, a soft almost gentle smile playing on his lips.   
"Then me an Merle will have to go and hunt ya down. Figure carol will be waitin' with the rope and Rick will be cryin' in the corner."

Ellie giggled, and leaned into his open palm. 

She opened her mouth to say more but the doors to the prison opened and the residents all flooded from the building, they were all smiling brightly at her and Daryl and she pretended it didn't sting when his hand flew from her have and he stuck the corner of his thumb in his mouth. 

Merle came running towards them followed quickly by the little boy in the sheriffs hat. Carl threw himself at Ellie's waist and wrapped his arms around it. 

"Thankyou. You saved my dad. You saved him." He looked up at her with big brown eyes just like her own and she couldn't help but smile back, her hand falling to his back.

"Don't gotta thank me bud. Sometimes you do what you gotta do." 

He nodded aggressively but didn't let go of her waist, just rested his head on her abdomen. 

"I thought you were a goner, don't you ever go and do somethin' like that without tellin' me." Merle tugged on the end of  her loose ponytail and flicked her nose, she could see the relief written all over his face. Daryl hovered just a little closer, eyeing his brother curiously, it was clear Daryl had never seen the older man care for anyone this way. 

"You got it Captain Hook." She smirked. 

Merle rolled his eyes but the smile was still painted on his face.

A woman Ellie didn't recognize came shuffling towards the tiny group cautiously, she reached a hand out for Ellie and smiled at her expectantly before Ellie finally met her grip. 

"I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. My daughter was in that room, he would have shot us all had you two not been there." Now the woman's gaze flicked from Daryl to Ellie. "You two are the most amazing couple I've ever met, a dream team." She grinned. 

Daryl's face went tomato red and Ellie nearly choked, Carl was snickering now, his giggle vibrating against her stomach. 

" No.. we're not.." Ellie started 

"You got that right! That's my baby brother and his woman. They are a dream team." Merle dropped his arm over both Daryl and Ellie tugging that blushing pair to his sides. 

Carl piped up too  
"The perfect couple." He grinned wickedly. 

"Oh and your son is beautiful, he looks just his mother." The woman pinched Carl's cheeks and Ellie nearly cracked up at the slack jawed look Carl currently possessed. 

When the woman walked away Daryl shoved Merle off and threw his hands in the air. 

"What the hell just happened?" 

Ellie's eyes were practically sparkling with humor.

"Well honey bear, I reckon we just got married." 

Merle was clutching his stomach and practically crying with laughter at the terrified look on his baby brothers face.


	6. I Didn’t Even Know That I Was Lonely

With Sophia’s head nestled on Ellie’s lap and Carl tucked into her side, eyes drooping and sleepy, the dark haired woman felt lighter than she had since before the world had ended. Children made her feel sane and slightly less broken than she truly was, it was a false sense of security but one she’d clung to throughout all of her foster homes.

She was always the oldest in the homes she was placed in and the younger children would be drawn to her like magnets, clinging to her and begging her for the protection and hope they needed. And she would give it to them, she gave all she had to those orphans, more often than not she gave more than she could spare. 

Carol rose to her toes from her seat by the bonfire in front of the prison, her eyes trained on the daughter she’d just gotten back. Ellie couldn’t imagine the pain and torment this woman must have went through when Sophia was missing, she’d only known the little girl for a few months and she couldn’t even imagine losing her.

“Sophia, lets get you to bed. I have your bunk all made up and I have fresh pajamas laid out for you.” The older woman grinned and held out a hand for the tiny blonde. 

Sophia took her mother’s hand only to pull her onto the ground beside her and snuggle into her side.   
“I can’t sleep without my song.” She explained to her bewildered mother, turning to Ellie and smiling. “You have to sing for me.” 

Ellie shook her head quickly   
“Soph.. you don’t..” 

“You sing?” Maggie smiled softly from across the fire, she was settled in Glenn’s lap and he was smiling too. 

“Oh no.. not much..” she was fairly certain she was it beet red at this point. 

“Like a damn angel she does.” Merle laughed loudly, Ellie’s eyes traveled to the long haired Hunter beside him. Daryl was watching her with curious eyes. 

“Merle..” Ellie warned. 

“Ain’t no sense in hidin’ it darlin’ I’m used to hearin’ it now too. Know I’ll sleep better after you sing.” He crossed his arms behind the back of his neck and leaned back expectantly, ever present mischief in his eyes. 

“Could use a little music around here, especially after a day like today.” Abraham spoke up from beside Rosita, his deep voice tired and strained. Eugene had been talking about some strand of cold going around the prison earlier today. 

“Listen.. I ain’t no singer. Had a guitar and notebook before the dead started walking, that’s all.” Ellie scratched the back of her neck awkwardly and watched as Rick kicked at Daryl’s foot and whispered something that made the quiet man blush and mutter something under his breath. 

“That’s all ya need.” Hershel smiled encouragingly. He reminded her of an old social worker she’d seen a few times, Warm and strong but a little broken just like her. No way she could say no to him and he damn well knew it. 

Taking a deep breath and looking around at all of the gazes locked solely on hers she released a puff of air through her lips and sighed   
“Alright.. alright..” 

Sophia moved closer and she felt Carl shift a little on the floor to look up at her. Carol was beside her as well and Ellie looked down to see the mother and daughters hands intertwined, she smiled softly before clearing her throat. 

“I was alone so long,  
I didn’t even know that I was lonely   
Out in the cold so long,  
I didn’t even know that I was cold.

I turn my collar to the wind   
This is how it’s always been.

All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own  
All I’ve ever known is how to hold my own   
But now I wanna hold you too.

You take me in your arms   
And suddenly there’s sunlight all around me   
Everything’s bright and warm  
And shining like it never did before.

And for a moment I forgot   
Just how dark and cold it gets.”

Carl had fallen asleep beside her now, his head resting on her shoulder, Carol was leading Sophia into the prison and everyone else was staring at her in awe. Rositas eyes were misty and Abraham had her squeezed tight to his chest, Glenn and Maggie had turned to each other silently watching the other, Tyreese and Sasha were following after carol into the comfort of their home, Rick was looking at Michonne and Merle was watching his brother watch Ellie.

Daryl’s eyes were unreadable as he stared so blatantly at the beautiful woman across from him, his fists were curled and his knuckles were white, his teeth pulling at his bottom lip. 

Rick made his way over towards Carl and Ellie, reaching to lift his sleeping son up into his arms he looked to Ellie with the most grateful eyes she’d ever seen. 

“He hasn’t fallen asleep so peacefully since his mother died. He’s always so restless and can’t get to sleep, Thank you.” 

Everything about this little boy felt like looking into a mirror, except for the fact that his father loved him beyond a reasonable doubt. 

“It was just a song.” She shrugged, wiping her hands on her knees and rising from the ground.

“I’m not just talking about the song. You’ve done more for this group already than almost everyone sleeping within those walls. I can never Thank you enough.” 

“Don’t gotta thank me..ever. Just keep that boy safe.. that’s all.” Ellie reached up and ran a hand over Carl’s messy waves before smiling at Rick and heading towards the water tower. 

She didn’t make it up the ladder, just stood there staring up at it. She’d have night terrors, wake up sweating and crying like every other night, and It was a small area. Ellie had made sure to sleep as far away from Merle and Sophia as possible when they were on the road together, she didn’t want to let anyone into her head and sleeping so close to a man she hardly knew.. letting him hear her tossing and turning in the middle of the night? It was a little   
daunting. 

“Ain’t gonna fall, pretty sturdy ladder.”   
Daryl’s slightly raspy voice made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, he was so close she could feel the fabric of his cut off flannel against her light weight tank top. She turned around and tried her best calm and collected smile

“I was just thinking of taking watch by the fences, you never know who’s out there.” 

Daryl raised a brow and shook his head, gently judging her towards the ladder, his hands pressed against the small of her back. 

“Got michonne on watch, then Glenn, then Rosita. Maself tomorrow, might need ya then. Tonight we’re good.” They made it all the way to the ladder before Ellie stopped abruptly and tugged at the hem of her shirt. 

“You don’t want me stayin’ up there alright? I told you I ain’t right. I’ll keep ya up, oughta just set myself up by the fence and sleep under the moon.” She laid her hand on his arm and squeezed gently before moving to walk away. 

“Get em too. Nightmares get worse in the heat, scary as hell.” 

Ellie stopped in her tracks. How did he even know? 

“ s’why I’m out here.. reckon if I say somethin’ in my sleep it’s best I say it out here. Don’t need everyone knowin’ my business.” 

Ellie turned at the quiet man’s words, her hands clasped against her chest, Daryl didn’t look at her, just at the dirt between her boots. 

“I ain’t gonna judge you. Ain’t never gonna judge you, don’t want you scared a me feelin’ bad for you.. s’why I told you. That’s all.” He shrugged and slowly brought his gaze to hers.. cautious and a little nervous. 

Ellie closed her eyes for just a moment before opening them again and walking directly towards the ladder. She breezed last him and started climbing 

“If this thing breaks down and I fall to my death I’m haunting you for the rest of your life Daryl Dixon.” She threatened playfully, peeking over shoulder as she climbed above him. 

Daryl rolled his eyes and smiled   
“I got it Ellie. I got you.” 

He meant that.. 

More than either of them knew.


	7. Out In The Cold So Long

The view from the watch tower was actually kind of beautiful, it was incredibly high up and just beyond the fence was the open expanse of the forest, even in the dark she could make out the lush green oak trees and winding weeping willows. The world had gone to shit and the dead were walking amongst the living, rotting corpses littering the world, but still.. there was life everywhere whether it be the trees or that beautiful baby girl sleeping just a doorway away. 

"Ain't never gonna change ya know." Daryl was leaning beside her against the railing of the tower, his eyes cast on the woods as well. 

"Hmm?" Ellie questioned, turning to him.

"The woods, we could all die right here, right now and that forest won't ever change. Maybe someone'll burn it down or cut down all the trees but they'll keep growin' it'll always be here long after we're gone." 

Ellie closed her eyes and let the cool night air wash over her  
"That's kind of nice. A nice thought I mean." 

Daryl just nodded, resting his chin on his folded arms, when Ellie looked to him again his face scrunched up in deep thought.  
"You got a war goin' on inside there or somethin'." She tapped his temple gently and he turned to her with a tired smile. 

"Nah, just thinkin." 

Ellie grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers  
"Well ya can't just say that and not tell me what you're thinkin' about! That's not very fair Mr. Dixon."

The shaggy haired Hunter snorted and motioned to the two sleeping bags laid out on the floor of the tower, Ellie took a seat and Daryl followed. 

"I was thinkin' about what would happen if it all got better. Who you'd be if they found a cure tomorrow" Daryl shrugged, picking at his fingernails.

Ellie wrapped her arms around her chest to keep out the chill of the night wind   
"Figure I'd be the same as I am now. Runnin' around with nowhere to go." She chuckled. 

"Nah." Daryl shook his head "you'd be a mama, kids a yer own and working some kind of teachin' job." 

Ellie's head whipped up and her eyes crinkled at the corners   
"Merle asked me if I was a teacher before all this. Definitely wasn't and I could never be a mama, don't know the first thing about havin' one can't imagine bein' one." 

It was Daryl's turn to look up in surprise   
"You don't have a mama?" 

Ellie shook her head   
"No.. I mean I had one but the dope got to her before she could tuck me in and read me bedtime stories." She laughed silently and bitterly. 

Daryl shifted just a little bit closer and tugged off the flannel he had thrown on, draping it around Ellie's shaking shoulders   
"My mama liked sleeping pills, rotted her brain and made her about as useless as the sons of bitches walking round down there. She fell asleep smoking a cigarette, lit herself and the house up in flames." 

Ellie wrapped the flannel tighter across her chest and looked up at Daryl with those big brown Bambi eyes.   
"My mama was feedin' me breakfast and feedin' herself her daily dose when she dropped dead. I was four, she was seizin up and there wasn't a thing I could do. Police came two weeks later, I'm pretty used to the smell of rotting humans." 

Daryl swallowed thickly and let his hand linger on the mat beside her hand.  
"You were on your own when ya found Sophia. No group, nothin.. how long ya been on your own?" 

"I had a group when it all started, found them all holed up inside a hospital cafeteria. I thought they were good people, some of them were but mostly they were angry bastards.. dangerous people." She shook her head and let her eyes fall between the bars of the railing. 

"They make it out alive?" Daryl asked, his fingers brushing hers cautiously 

"Not all of them, some of us did. Some of them I couldn't save and some them I didn't want too." She whispered. 

"People ain't meant for this world, some people ain't meant for any world." Daryl was whispering now too, the tower was small and every word felt almost too loud. 

Ellie glanced down at their fingers side by side and laced his between hers.   
"World wasn't supposed to be this bad, at first... at first I was bitter.. jaded but then.. then a part of me felt almost.. vindicated? Life was never easy for me and now? Now everyone's runnin' now everyone knows what it feels like to be scared to live." Her throat was scratchy and rough with emotion "I know that makes me a bad person but I can't help it. I want these people to live but for a while there I didn't care who turned or who kicked it." 

Daryl squeezed her hand   
"I get it. I know." 

And he did, he understood better than anyone, he knew what it was like to be abandoned and left with nothing but yourself. 

It was silent for a moment, not uncomfortably just quiet. Ellie glanced down to their fingers once more and cleared her throat, mischief sparkling in her brown eyes.

"How come you don't have a girlfriend?" She smirked, watching as Daryl's cheeks flamed bright red. 

"What are you talkin' about girl." He grumbled.

"I just mean that you're obviously the most attractive man here, and you provide for this prison and it's people. You were out looking for a little girl who ain't even yours, I'm just surprised you haven't been snatched up Daryl Dixon." She tightened her grip on his hand when he tried to pull away and wiggled her eyebrows when he scoffed.

"Ya need glasses woman, ain't got a woman." He shrugged awkwardly, tugging on his bottom lip 

"Beth can't seem to keep her eyes off of you when you're around. Pretty little thing." Ellie giggled, Daryl was playing with her fingers but abruptly stopped and snapped his head towards her at her word. 

"baby Greene? Ain't a chance, that kids nothin but trouble and she's practically illegal. Ain't my type anyway." 

"I don't think the law matters much any more." Ellie offered playfully. 

"Don't care about no law. Ain't interested one bit, Best you stay away from her, she ain't all there."  He raised a brow in warning and Ellie just rolled her eyes. 

"She seemed to like me plenty until you told her daddy we were roomin' together." 

"Good." Daryl nodded, easing himself back onto the sleeping bag, taking Ellie with him "you want her scared a ya, she causes trouble when she thinks she can. Don't really want ya hangin' round her alright?" 

He was on his side now staring directly at her, Ellie nodded slowly. It seemed to soothe Daryl's anxiety and he let his eyes shut flicking off the battery operated lamp that had been illuminating the pair, almost five minutes later Ellie broke the silence. 

"Daryl?" 

"Hmm?" He hummed. 

"Why.. why are you goin through all this trouble with me? I'm just another girl. I brought home your brother but I don't think there's much more I can do for ya." She whispered, it was pitch black now and she thanked whoever was up above for that, Daryl couldn't see the insecurity flooding her face in the dark. 

She heard him shift over and felt his fingers squeeze hers   
"Don't want nothin from ya 'cept yaself. Don't know why I want ya here I just do. M'not gonna let anything happen to ya, I don't know you but I feel like I've known ya forever. Ya ain't just some girl Ellie, yer something else entirely." He whispered and it took everything Ellie had to keep the tears from falling. 

"I don't want to let you down." The walls were down now, just for a moment she could let her heart be bared naked in front of a man who she hardly knew but maybe that wasn't true, maybe her heart had known him all along. 

"Could never let me down girl. Don't matter what you do, we're good. We're gonna be good." He whispered, voice scratchy and raw.

She wanted to believe him, and maybe she could, it would take time but for just a moment, under the stars of the watch tower with her hand wrapped around a man who made her feel like she could truly live.. 

They could be good.

Atleast for a moment.


	8. I Didn’t Even Know That I Was Cold

"Come on! That's so not fair!" Carl tumbled to the floor, boots kicking up dust as he landed flat on his back, crooked smile on his lips. "Ellie! Tell him he's cheating!"

"Cheating?!" Merle gasped, clutching his hand to his heart "how dare ya question my integrity." He faux sniffled and wiped a non existent tear from his cheek. 

Ellie snorted and shoved Merle's stub off of Carl's chest  
"You're such an ass Dixon." She reached a hand out for Carl and pulled him to his feet, before quickly flipping him around and wrapping her arm around the little boys throat, grinning when his gasps turned into uncontrollable giggles. 

"Ellie!" 

"Ya can't trust anyone bud. Always gotta keep your guard up." She nudged him gently and ruffled his far too long, chestnut locks.

"I'm gonna take you both down one day! You just wait!" Carl wiped the dirt off of his jeans and grabbed his fallen hat from the floor. 

"Not a doubt in my mind, Merle's old as dust I give it a week before he has to catch his breath just walkin' up the stairs." Ellie stopped under the shade of  an overgrown oak tree and slid down onto her butt. 

" yer real funny ya know that? Hilarious." Merle tugged on her ponytail and dropped down beside her with a grunt. Carl was quick to follow suit, pressing against Ellie's side. 

It was quiet for a moment and if she hadn't been just looking at him she would have sworn Merle had fallen asleep. 

"Are we going to die?" Carl's quiet, slightly shaky voice broke through the silence. 

"The hell you mean?" Merle grumbled, eyes only slightly opened as he squinted at the little boy "we're sittin' under a tree? unless rabid squirrels attack we ain't goin' nowhere." 

Carl shook his head and huffed   
"I'm talking about the governor. Dad won't tell me anything but I know he's scared, the governors going to come back and he's going to kill us all isn't he?" His baby blue eyes burned into Ellie's skin and she sighed, dropping a hand to his shoulder and squeezing.

"I don't know much about the governor kid, from what I hear he's a real bastard and he's got a whole lot of people followin' him like sheep. He's got weapons and man power but we got somethin' else." Ellie let her eyes fall to Merle and she couldn't help but mirror his smirk 

"What do we have?' Carl questioned curiously. 

Ellie tweaked the younger boys nose and grinned   
"We've got the underdogs." 

The door to the front of the prison swung open, Rick came strolling outside with Daryl by his side and Carol following close behind, Beth chatting beside her. The tiny groups eyes all fell to the three people huddled together under the old oak tree.

What a sight they must be. A one handed former drug addict, a 24 year old orphan covered in scars and the sheriffs son curled against her side, all enjoying a sunny summer day huddled together under a tree sunbathing. 

Rick grinned at the sight of his son lazily laughing and resting his head on the young woman's shoulder, Carol was obviously avoiding the loud blonde beside her as she smirked at the scene and Daryl..

Well Daryl was torn between staring wide eyed at a goofy smiling Merle and the brown eyed beauty staring right back at him. 

"Well ain't this a sight for sore eyes."  
Carol started towards them.

"Can't miss a day like this, don't get many quiet ones outrunnin' the dead." Ellie sighed contentedly. 

Rick, Carol and Daryl all took seats across from Ellie, Merle and Carl, Beth stayed standing with her arms crossed petulantly and a childish pout on her lips. 

"I thought we were going to go on a run." She whined.

Rick looked up at her and waved a hand   
"We are, But right now we're enjoying the sunshine with some friends. You're welcome to join." 

Ellie bit down to hide the smirk on her lips, it was clear Beth was not Ricks favorite. 

The young blonde rolled her eyes and turned to Daryl  
"If we go ahead on your motorcycle we can clear a path." She looked up through her lashes, and smiled all too sweetly at The Hunter crouched on the floor. Ellie rolled her eyes and Merle draped a heavy arm over her shoulder.

"It's my bike actually, baby brother was just borrowin' it." There was no humor in his voice now "and ya ain't goin nowhere unless the boss over there says it's okay. Which he didn't." 

Rick looked up in surprise, Merle had never once shown even an ounce of respect for his authority and here he was defending him. 

"Ain't goin nowhere alone, if ya can't wait then head back inside. Don't need ya pouting' all damn day." Daryl's voice was always just a bit quieter than everyone else's and sometimes Ellie caught herself straining to hear. 

Beth looked around the small group with wide, offended eyes before practically stamping her foot and marching back inside the prison. 

"Beth is a baby." Carl spoke up as soon as the ponytail disappeared from view. 

"She's a kid." Ellie offered 

"I'm a kid!" Carl flung his arms out dramatically "Beth is 17 I'm only 10 and I don't throw fits!" 

Ellie chuckled and tickled right below his ribs making him wiggle and squirm away giggling 

"You're a rare breed bud."

Rick reached for his son and pulled him into his side, he was smiling a loopy kind of grin and staring at his son with a fondness Ellie had never seen.   
"Sophia was looking for you inside, needs help with those practice books we found." 

Carl sighed and groaned   
"I don't want to do math. I don't need it." 

Daryl reached for the brim of Carl's hat and tipped it forward   
"Always need learnin' kid. Don't matter what." 

Nodding quickly, Carl leaned over to hug Ellie before shooting up and darting towards the prison. Everyone here respected Daryl, even the children. It was amazing to see the natural magnetic pull of respect he seemed to always possess, he was usually right so there really was no need for doubt. 

With the little boy off inside, Rick turned to the group   
"Abraham is getting sicker and it looks like a few of the rest are starting to have symptoms. We're going to go on a run to find some medication.. I saw a pharmacy a few towns over, it was pretty surrounded but we can take the walkers.. we just have no clue what we're looking for." He sighed, rubbing his temples. 

"What are the symptoms?" Ellie questioned. 

Carol answered   
"He has a high fever and his bones are achey, not to mention the headache and rash all over his back. Hershel was a veterinarian but he's not fluent in specialized issues like this." 

Ellie scrunched her nose, wracking her brain for something buried deep in a specific part of her brain   
"You said achey joints?" 

Rick nodded  
"Yeah, he can hardly stand up from his bunk without hurting." 

"The tall one from the big family we picked up last months got the rash too. Can't have him spreadin' it to his little ones." Daryl added. 

Merle sighed   
"As if it ain't bad enough people are eatin' people now we gotta worry bout.."

"Togaviridae. It's an alpha virus." Ellie cut Merle off, her eyebrows bunched together. 

"How do you..." Rick started, his eyes wide as saucers at the little woman speaking such big words.

"He must have been bit out there by an infected insect while they were on the road. You said Abraham was with you when you picked up the family? Maybe he shared his water?" 

"Yeah, whole family drank from his canteen." Daryl was watching her with curious eyes.

"It's not airborne, it's passed through fluids. Anyone Sharin his saliva can get it, a little backwash and you're down for the count." 

"And the cure?" Carol looked nothing but entirely impressed. 

"It's treatable, when you go to raid the pharmacy look for any medication ending in "nolacton" it'll prevent the infection from spreading. Some side effects are long lasting, early onset arthritis, and swollen glands." Ellie listed, finally turning to the group and smiling shyly. They were all watching her with dumbstruck expressions. "I got locked in some college professors apartment at the beginning of all this, read through his curriculum about a hundred times before I left. He was a medical professor." 

Merle grinned and trapped her body with his bicep   
"That damn photographic memory."

Carol was turned to Rick discussing the Run when Merle stood to join them leaving Daryl and Ellie cross legged and staring at each other.

Ellie raised a brow and smiled   
"Somethin' on my face Daryl?" 

The smile that followed was the most genuine expression Ellie had ever seen cross Daryl Dixon's face, he shook his head and stood up, holding out a hand to help her up. 

"Yer kind of amazin' Ellie Mitchell. You know that?" 

Ellie took his hand and let her fingers stay tucked between his for just a moment longer than normal. 

"Flattery will Get you everywhere Dixon."


	9. I Turn My Collar To The Wind

Ellie rocked the tiny baby in her arms with all the softness of a butterfly, Hershel smiled from his place on the sofa in the rec room. 

"She's awfully cute isn't she?" The white haired man stood up shakily, clutching his cane and making his way towards Ellie and Judith. 

"She sure is, haven't seen a baby since before all of this." Judith babbled and wrapped a little fist around Ellie's long chocolate curls, tugging almost painfully. 

"Her mama had a real easy pregnancy, no complications until the actual delivery." 

Ellie nodded, one of the teenagers in her very last foster home had died giving birth too, she'd been too young, too hungry and too weak. 

"She went out of this world bringing something beautiful into it, figure there's no better way to go." She ran her fingers through Judith's honey blonde curls and pressed a kiss to her baby soft skin. 

"Rick does his best with her but part of me thinks he sees too much of her mama in those eyes and it hurts too much." Hershel sighed, nodding his head towards the sofa in the corner of the room, Ellie followed and sat, gently holding Judith tight to her chest. 

"Rick is busy, he's got a whole lot on his shoulders." Ellie defended the man who had taken her in, given her a home at least for a while.

"That he does, it just happens to get in the way of his parenting sometimes.. I've noticed Carl has taken quite a liking to you" Hershel eyed Ellie curiously and smiled. 

"Oh he's a great kid. Real smart and well behaved, Lori did well with both of em' must be the genes." Ellie lifted Judith up and blew a raspberry on her tummy, grinning when the baby erupted in giggles. 

"And Daryl Dixon?" 

Ellie's eyes snapped towards the older man and narrowed almost dangerously.  
"You keepin' tabs on me Mr. Greene?" 

Hershel shook his head and smiled warmly   
"Just an observation is all. You two are very similar." 

Ellie shifted Judith in her arms and rolled her eyes playfully   
"Ah yes, the cut off sleeves and tattoos really give it away huh?" 

Hershel chuckled   
"Daryl is a good man and you're a good woman, you suit each other well... quite the pair." 

"Why does everyone keep sayin' that?" Ellie exclaimed "Daryl is not interested in me like that, he's just helpin' me out and showin' me around, like you said he's a good man." She turned her attention back to the baby in her arms but not before Hershel spoke quietly

"You deserve happiness Ellie." 

What? Why would he...

"Ellie! I finished, I'm all done!" Sophia ripped into the rec room waving a slip of paper in the air and effectively moving Ellie's attention from Hershel to the young girl in front of her. Carol was off on a run with Rick, Daryl and Beth for medication and Sophia had been worried sick for her mother, Ellie had done everything she could to soothe the anxious child's nerves and had eventually handed her some paper and a pencil and asked her to draw a photo of the group. 

"Well give it here, don't be hoggin' all the art."

Sophia proudly handed over the paper and watched with clasped hands as Ellie scanned the drawing. It was beautiful, each and everyone who lived in the prison in full display, Sophia was front and center beside Carol and Merle was beside Carol. Carl was beside Merle right next to Ellie who was next to Daryl and Rick was above them all, the rest of the group scattered amongst the paper. 

"Soph, this is amazing. You're very talented." Judith cooed and reached for the paper with sticky fingers but Ellie kept it out of reach "don't touch the art work munchkin." She tweaked the baby's nose and handed the paper back to a beaming Sophia. 

"You really like it?" 

"I love it." Ellie promised. 

"I can hang it up in my room until you move into the prison and then you can put it in there okay?" Sophia smiled.

Hershel tapped Ellie's shoulder and nodded towards the open window where the groups Jeep was pulling through, they were home. Ellie turned back to Sophia and smiled encouragingly, nudging her towards the hallway 

"Sounds like a good plan, you go on and show Carl, I think he's gonna have something to say about that long hair you drew him." She teased, She didn't want Sophia to be out there if god forbid something had happened on the run. 

Ellie zipped up Judith's lightweight jacket and headed outside followed closely by Hershel. Rick was the first one out of the truck, his eyes instantly falling to his daughter sleeping in Ellie's arms, tension eased from his shoulders and he glanced up with grateful eyes. Fortunately carol was next and while she looked exhausted she was seemingly in tact, Beth shoved past her next and ran directly into her father's arms, tears streaming down her cheeks. Daryl stumbled out next, a bleeding hash on his forehead and the start of a black eye forming near his right eye. He looked absolutely lethal.

Hershel was awkwardly attempting to stay upright as Beth gripped onto him, Ellie quickly rushed to Daryl and adjusted Judith so she could lift a hand to his bleeding forehead. Her fingers splayed across the gashed scar and pressed gently. 

Daryl's narrowed eyes softened slightly at her touch and he glanced down at the baby in her arms and back to her frowning mouth. 

"What happened?" Ellie whispered. 

"Keep her away for me. Don't wanna see her until she learns ta follow simple ass directions." Daryl growled, his angry glare now directed entirely towards the sobbing blonde. 

"It wasn't my fault, I did everything right!" She wailed, Hershel sighed.

"What did you do now Elizabeth?" 

"I didn't do anything! I swear to god!" 

Ellie had never seen Carol as mad as when the grey haired older woman whipped around and nearly charged the 17 year old,  
"You endangered all of our lives because of your blatant stupidity you bobble headed brat!" 

"Uh oh." Ellie whispered, tucking Judith tighter against her chest. Daryl shifted closer and wrapped an arm around her waist, he was so close she could almost feel his warm breath when he whispered "here we go." 

"You begged us all to let you come on a run, you're seventeen we all thought you could handle it. I had doubts but god were you convincing. I thought you were mature enough but you're nothing but a manipulative little girl. All you had to do was listen to Rick, but instead you go ahead and open a closet filled to the brim with walkers and then run away leaving us for dead!" Carol hissed 

Ellie gasped, turning to look up at Daryl, he nodded quickly and suddenly rage bubbled in her stomach. What kind of dumbass... 

Hershel sighed, pulling a screaming Beth towards the doors of the prison 

"I was the only one who found the closet! What did you want me to do?! Stay and be walker dinner! Someone had to make it home!" 

Her screams faded as she was tugged inside the walls , silence filled the air outside the prison until Judith hiccuped. 

The tension dissolved slowly and Carol laughed 

"You got that right Judy." 

Rick broke out in laughter and Daryl tugged Ellie closed to his side, brushing his dirty fingers over Judith's chubby cheeks. 

Ellie smiled up at Daryl and he smiled back

Rick settled down before he reached for his daughter and cradled her to his chest  
"Hey where's Glenn?" He questioned 

Carol pointed to the watch tower   
"I think they're on watch this afternoon. surprised they haven't come out to see what all the commotion was about. Maggie! Glenn!" Carol shouted up towards the tower 

After a moment, a shirtless Glenn stumbled towards the railing attempting to buckle his belt. Ricks eyes widened before he covered Judith's eyes. 

"Sorry! Hi!" Glenn blushed. 

Both Daryl and Ellie stepped forward and simultaneously shouted 

"On my bed?!" 

Carol and Rick were both bent over in laughter as they desperately tried to catch their breath.


	10. This is how it’s always been

She'd learned how to skin animals when she was very little, hunting was necessary when you were always on the run and being able to prepare and cook her own meals had come in handy more times than she could count. 

Carol was seasoning a butchered rabbit beside Ellie when she nodded towards the blood and guts smearing the younger girls white t shirt.   
"I have never met someone so absolutely beautiful and lovely yet somehow constantly covered in guts and gore nearly 24/7. You're an anomaly Ellie Mitchell." 

Ellie grinned and peered up through her thick lashes   
"I used to disappear for days when I was little, my social worker would be a mess until I walked right up to whatever foster home I was living in with a string of rabbits and squirrels all dead and tied to my belt loops. They thought I was crazy, maybe I am." She laughed lightly, blowing a loose strand of hair from her eyes and wiggling her blood covered fingers at her friend.

Carol hummed and placed a steady hand on Ellie's shoulder, squeezing soothingly as she rolled her eyes. The older woman didn't speak for a moment, her eyebrows scrunched in deep thought  
"When I was married to Ed, Sophia's father, he was abusive. He never touched my daughter but I knew the second he did I would have to call the state, I knew that I would have to get her somewhere she could be safe. I thought every day of the foster home she would be placed in, if they were as broken as I'd read." She'd placed the rabbit down and turned her attention entirely to Ellie, the 24 year old refused to meet her stare. 

She didn't want to talk about the state, any of her foster homes or her past. It wasn't dinner talk, it wasn't casual, it was scary and it was dark. Ellie stabbed at the squirrel she was skinning. 

"Sophia's lucky to have a mom like you. She's lucky you took care of her. That's all." She whispered, eyes flicking to the door on instinct. 

"And your mother?" Carol ducked her head to meet Ellie's, a maternal kind of warmth that was always present, normally it made Ellie feel safe and comfortable but right now it made her skin itch and her head ache. 

"Don't know. She's dead, she died a long time ago. Long before I was born." She flung the squirrel on the table and wiped her hands on her jeans, smiling extra wide at Carol, she knew it looked fake just from the way her cheeks hurt "all done. I'll catch ya later." She rolled her shoulders and practically sprinted out the door, ignoring carols muffled calls of her name. 

Ellie stumbled through the halls of the prison, pushing through the front doors and gasping when the fresh air filled her lungs. 

Panic attack. 

She was having a panic attack. Drowning in cold, cold water. it'd been a while since she'd experienced one but the lack of oxygen and blurry vision were a sure sign. 

"It's okay Ella Ray. You're okay. Ten breaths in Ten breaths out." She whispered to herself rushing past the families all relaxing on the tables outside of the prison. The fence was caging her in and the walls were getting smaller and smaller, she pushed open the gate and tumbled hands first into the first oak tree she could find, her forehead pressed against the hard bark and she took greedy gulps of air.

"You can't do this. Not right now. You can't shut down Ellie, you can't. Don't do this." She whispered desperately into the almost silent forest air, fingers curling into the tree in front of her, brushing her fingertips and pulling at her nails. 

Her heart was racing rapidly and images of meth filled silver spoons and her mothers angry, violent boyfriends blurring behind her vision as she tried frantically to stay steady on her feet, wandering farther back into the woods. She needed to get away from the people within the prison walls, she didn't want to scare them. 

"Stop. Stop please." She cried, balling her fists and pressing them against her eyes, rubbing viciously.

"El?" 

Her hands curled around the knife settled in the holster on her thigh as she spun around. 

"It's okay. It's just me. S'alright darlin' it's just me." 

Daryl stood a few feet away from her, his hands flat against his thighs as he slowly made his way towards her, blue eyes flooded with concern. 

"Don't!" Ellie gasped, stumbling backwards until her back pressed against the rough bark "don't  come close to me, I'm not right. I told you I'm.. I don't know what I'll do... I dont.." she choked, tears now actively streaming down her cheeks as she shivered. 

She squeezed her eyes shut and willed the thoughts to fade away. It wasn't until warm muscled arms encased her that the shakes died down and her tears stopped.   
"Daryl." She whimpered. 

"Don't talk." He ordered, running his fingers though   
her soft curls and pressing her tight to his chest. "Y'alright now. I've got ya. Ain't lettin' go."

With her fingers gripping the lapels of his leather vest and his lips pressed against the crown of her head, her breathing settled but only for a second before she was pushing out of Daryl's arms and stumbling back 

"No! No I can't do this anymore.. I'm done! I gotta be." Ellie whispered her big brown eyes watery and tortured. 

"El.." 

"I'm dead Daryl!" She shouted before slamming her open palm over her mouth and shaking her head frantically "I'm just as dead as the walkers out in these woods, the only difference is that my heart is beating and there's ain't. I gave up a long time ago and I never belonged here!" 

"That ain't true and you know it! You belong here just like everybody else. Don't run away from this.. from me." His heart was pounding out of his chest, Ellie's eyes flicked to every possible space in that forest except towards him. 

"You don't know me." She whispered "none of you do." She laughed bitterly, dried tears smearing the dirt and grime on her cheeks.

"That's bullshit." He growled. 

"Oh yeah?" Ellie finally spun towards him, her face contorted as if she was in pain. " if you knew me you'd a known I ain't made for families. I can't sit there and talk about my mama while carol cooks dinner. I can't hold a baby and act like the worlds okay, like I can protect her from anything. I can't protect anyone from shit!" She spit.

"Nobody's askin' you too. It ain't all up to you!" 

Her tiny shoulders slumped and her head hung just a little lower before she looked back to Daryl with the saddest smile he had ever seen  
"See? You don't know me at all." She whispered. 

Daryl shook his head and reached for her, wrapping his hands around her thin arms, there was no way he was losing her, not like this.   
"I ain't never had a family. Never wanted one, thought Merle was as good as it was gonna get. I was scared too, thought I couldn't handle it but now I got people.. people who love me..who love you. Ya can't turn your back on them... ya just can't. They need you."

Ellie laughed but it was hollow and cold   
"Nobody needs me." 

Daryl opened his mouth to respond, to tell her how he felt about her, all of the things he'd kept bottled inside, locked away. 

"Daryl! We got a problem in here!" Rick called from behind the prison fence, his voice was muffled with distance and Daryl's eyes snapped between Ellie and the fence, conflicted and frustrated. 

With a shake of her curls and the shadow of a smile Ellie stepped further into the woods  
"Duty calls Dixon. You take care of yourself, take care of these people. They need you." 

And then she was gone, nothing but a blur of olive skin and the glint of her knife. She'd left the same way she'd arrived, quietly and effortlessly, except this time she was running from something not towards it. 

"Ellie!" Daryl called after her, moving to follow her trail. 

"Daryl! We need you in here!" Rick was shouting, his voice shaky. 

He couldn't just let her go, he needed her.

But his family...

Well his family needed him.


End file.
